The Knosee
We are currently in Eastertide, or Paschaltide, the 49-days following Jesus' persecution and crucifixion that precedes the Pentacost, when the Holy Spirit descended down upon the apostles.
I've been thinking a lot about the betrayal Jesus went through at the hands of people he was closest to that he trusted. Jesus experienced so many situations during his documented ministry that displayed the human condition at its best, and its worst.
He experienced profound loss and the great grief of death of loved ones with the passing of Lazarus. He was so deeply moved at the despair and heartache by Lazarus' family and friends, and his own love for Lazarus, that he wept. He wept from His own heartache and for the pain of those he loved. Even though Jesus KNEW he was going to raise Lazarus from the grave he was still struck with very human emotions at the situation.
He experience profound joy in his ministry and celebrated intimate times with those closest to him. The wedding comes to mind, where he turned water into wine. A day of celebration and love where he performed a miracle, at the request of his mother, even though He told her, it is not yet my time. Great was, and is, His love.
And he experienced the profound impact of betrayal at the hands of some of the people he loved most. Even though he KNEW they would betray him out of greed and their own shame, He loved them just the same up to, and through, their actions. Being betrayed, abused, and taken advantage of by those we trust most is a heart-wrenching thing.
I think about this as I reflect on the enormous betrayals and violent harm I've been subjected to at the hands of men, and most especially one. The long-standing abuse, the intentional deceit and lies, and desire to bring chaos and destruction for self-pleasure.
But, that never ends well in the long run and Judas is the poster boy example.
The people who betrayed Jesus when He needed them most did so out of greed and personal protection, despite their professed love of Jesus and commitment of the prior years to leave everything to join His ministry.
They did not yet KNOW they would betray Him, but God knew. Jesus knew. I wonder how that must have grieved his heart, looking in the face of people looking back full of love and hope, KNOWing that at the end of the day, they (and especially one) would turn Him over to the wolves to try to save their own skin, protect their reputation, and escape judgement.
He KNEW Peter would deny him and even told Peter as much. "Oh no, Lord, I would never!", Peter exclaimed. And yet, it came to pass. Three times before the cock crowed.
But first it took Judas of Iscariot for the ultimate betrayal to put those wheels into motion and is probably of one of the longest-standing examples of the broken human condition.
Despite all Jesus had done and the deep relationship He shared with Judas, Jesus was sold for 30 pieces of silver. Judas developed a character that ultimately loved money more than standing up to do what was right.
He loved money more than principals he espoused. Judas, at the end of the day, clearly demonstrated that his love of money and betrayal was greater than his love of God.
Now the Festival of Unleavened Bread, called the Passover, was approaching, and the chief priests and the teachers of the law were looking for some way to get rid of Jesus, for they were afraid of the people. Then Satan entered Judas, called Iscariot, one of the Twelve. And Judas went to the chief priests and the officers of the temple guard and discussed with them how he might betray Jesus. They were delighted and agreed to give him money. He consented, and watched for an opportunity to hand Jesus over to them when no crowd was present.
(Luke 22: 1-6)
When you read that scripture there are so many things that stand out that reflect the nature of Judas' heart at that time:
Judas knew the religious leaders were constantly looking for a way to bring Jesus down. They didn't like His truth or His influence and wanted Him silenced.
Judas' love of money and power opened up an avenue for darkness to overtake him and compromise his integrity and professed love of Jesus.
Judas went proactively to these leaders to discuss how he might betray Jesus.
Judas, literally, conspired with the enemy to devise a scheme of which he somehow thought he would never have to be held to account, sneaky deceitful behavior making deals in the dark.
Judas then watched for an opportunity, the perfect moment, to betray Jesus and hand him to the enemy.
Judas wanted it all done in secret, with no crowd present, no witness to his behavior. Judas did not want to be accountable for his actions and what would happen afterward.
Judas plotted and planned and schemed with those who wanted Jesus dead and he did it willingly, bringing delight to Jesus' enemies who sought to destroy him because they were threatened by the truth He spoke and the hypocrisy He called them out on.
None of the apostles could ever have KNOWN or SEEN ahead of time that this would all unfold, but Jesus KNEW, and it was part of the divine plan that led, like dominoes, to Jesus being sacrificed at the hands of his enemies.
Oh how the enemy rejoiced and celebrated the days after his death. You can just hear it now, “We won! We beat Him! Who did he think He was to come up against us?”
And yet, Jesus KNEW what awaited on the other side. Jesus KNEW and SAW the purpose for the pain and it was all for the glory of God’s Kingdom and nothing mattered more to Jesus than that. Jesus KNEW he would defeat the grave and what lay ahead. One could say, they celebrated far too early.
So to be betrayed, so brazenly, so in-his-face by one he loved most and had hand-picked to be part of his inner circle, must have grieved him so.
While he was still speaking a crowd came up, and the man who was called Judas, one of the Twelve, was leading them. He approached Jesus to kiss him, but Jesus asked him, “Judas, are you betraying the Son of Man with a kiss?”
When Jesus’ followers saw what was going to happen, they said, “Lord, should we strike with our swords?” And one of them struck the servant of the high priest, cutting off his right ear.
But Jesus answered, “No more of this!” And he touched the man’s ear and healed him.
Then Jesus said to the chief priests, the officers of the temple guard, and the elders, who had come for him, “Am I leading a rebellion, that you have come with swords and clubs? Every day I was with you in the temple courts, and you did not lay a hand on me. But this is your hour—when darkness reigns.”
(Luke 22: 47-53)
To betray Jesus with a kiss, no less. An act that is intimate and usually represents care and affection but, in this instance, it was an attempted act of bringing death and destruction, never realizing or understanding that Judas was bringing about his own in the end.
Looking at Judas and Peter, both people who betrayed Jesus, there are two stark differences. One took accountability and sought true repentance for his actions and the other did not. A coward through and through.
Judas felt protected and powerful when he had the religious leaders on his side and a bag full of silver in his robe but once the act was done he realized that he alone was to blame for delivering Jesus right into the hands of the enemy that ultimately led to his murder.
Jesus KNEW all of this was going to happen. Judas didn’t. He didn’t KNOW or SEE what was coming for him on the other side of his short-lived greed and pleasure seeking. And, instead of his acts staying in the shadows like he probably thought would happen, Judas was outed for everyone to see and what he did is still talked about 2,000 years later. Talk about leaving a legacy.
The very name Judas implies betrayer, someone untrustworthy, who will do anything for money, for greed, for power, to feel important, even sacrifice the Son of Man to get it.
How tragic.
What an example of the worst of the human condition and how the love of the ungodly can lead one to do terribly evil things against other people that there are called to love.
And yet, Jesus loved him anyway.
There is debate if Judas was forgiven by Jesus. Peter was because he sought true repentance and accountability where Judas did not.
Judas ran away, he hid, he was a coward. So ashamed and afraid of admitting what he’d done and being held to account for his very purposeful actions.
In a futile attempt to make things right he tried to give the money back, which is laughable. Judas sacrificed the Son of Man for 30 pieces of silver and somehow thought returning it would balance the scales in his soul, but it was too late. He was laid bare for all to see.
As we well know the weight of what he’d done. and likely the outrage of those around him once they found out, was too much to bear and instead of repenting and taking the consequences of his actions, he chose to avoid it by killing himself.
This is what sin and evil-nature does. It kills us from the inside, suffocating the light of God within us; choosing darkness instead. We don’t know how Judas went from good intentions when joining the ministry to ultimately being the one responsible for Jesus hanging on that cross but Jesus KNEW and he SAW it all and he loved Judas anyway.
Can we say the same for those who have betrayed us? Who have turned us over to wolves? Who have compromised their souls at our expense? Who delight in our suffering?
Having the heart of Christ is hard. It’s a challenge to forgive those who’ve wronged us. It goes against our very nature to want to defend ourselves against those who cause us harm, especially violent destructive harm, and then rejoice and celebrate it.
And yet, God.
I KNOW that God SEES all. He sees all the betrayals, all the lies, all the deception, all the wicked intentions of the heart that people try to keep hidden by spouting bible verses and going to church and asking for lip-service forgiveness without actual true repentance for what evil then know they’ve done. Window-dressing for the soul.
What I do KNOW and SEE through trials and tribulations at the hands of people overcome with evil at my expense, is that God always make a way. That Jesus loves me so much that He brings the things I need at the right time, and that He will always handle my enemy for me. As it is written:
Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
Romans 12: 17-21
So hold tight to God through the stormy seas of those in your life you once trusted and betrayed you in terrible ways. Do not let it harden your heart like Pharaoh against all.
Pray for those people that they are held to true account, that they atone for their sins against those they’ve sinned, that they see the error of their ways and feel the full weight of it, so they can be redeemed and their transgressions are wiped clean in the eyes of God and within their own souls.
God doesn’t want us doing anything half-hearted when it comes to Him and He sees through people’s masks they wear into the depths of the conditions of the heart and what they hold up as God his place - money, power, fame, sex, influence, adoration. And, there is no level of revenge we can enact that will cause humbling more than how God will move to bring people to their knees when they need it. It’s what they do while they’re there that matters.
So keep moving forward in purpose, stay close to God, strive to have the heart of Christ, and let God handle the revenge and restitution on your behalf. Keep your heart focused on dwelling in the light and not the dark, though Jesus is found in both and thank God for it.
